Pandemic: The Game
Have you noticed that
nobody seems to care much about what the Kardashians are doing, or maybe I
never cared and it just SEEMS like nobody cares that Kim and ….whatever other K
daughter she is fighting with are going at it. I mean that is some ridiculous stuff. Watching the Kardashians is kinda like going
to church. When you are five or six, you
go to church because your mom wants you to go to church and you don’t really
know why you are going except you get free cookies and punch afterwards. I always went to Vacation Bible School for
the cookies, but I digress. Your mom
thinks if she can sit you in church for long enough then it will dawn on you
that you really need to be there. I don’t go to church now. Nobody goes to church at five or six because
you are filled with the Holy Spirit. You
go for the cookies. Similarly, you don’t
watch the Kardashians when you are pre-teen because you “understand the nature
of their relationship and can see it reflected in your own life!” Nope, you watch it for the cookies.
What are people doing to
pass their time if they are not watching the Kardashians? Sue bought us this game. Pandemic. It
came via Amazon, I mean doesn’t everything? I was skeptical, but it is an awesome game! Let me tell you, you play one round of
Pandemic and you will FULLY understand the situation we are in. People in Florida want to go to church so
Miami has an “outbreak”. You quell Los
Angeles into submission and those F---in’ people in Miami, ALLLL with a desire
to get to heaven, spread the virus to Atlanta on a Church Revival and boom! So it becomes quite apparent that everyone has
to focus on eliminating the various contagions or we are all going to
hell in a handbasket.
Me, being the Researcher,
I was able to share information but I was not a Scientist. The Scientist could cure a contagion with
only four city cards instead of five (That bitch thinks she is such hot stuff!). I really just wanted to work with the
Quarantine Specialist because I thought she was hot. Sue, being a dispatcher
was …well, doing her best but mostly telling people about stuff. But working
together we did our best and eventually quelled the contagions. Then we figured out that we missed a few
infections and BOOM, game on! It was pretty
frustrating to see Delhi go down like that, but there were whole cities that we
ignored to focus on Milan. Those Italians should appreciate us. I know, I sound
like Donald J. Trump, only I am not running for re-election and using a pandemic
to leverage votes. Except for that slimy difference, yep virtually similar. 
I highly recommend this
game, but you probably need more than one person to play it. I am not encouraging socializing. The rare few of you who can channel multiple
personalities can play it … alone I guess. Or you can all download the Kim
Kardashian video game and go that direction.
Mountain Pig…out.
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