CORONA-CATION DAY 16: "I just need these two chickens....."

I was walking with my wife yesterday day, because that is what we do now, and I said “chickens are probably THE most amazing animal in nature, maybe in line with the Sturgeon!” She bit.  “So they are pretty amazing,…”she said to humor me “…but sturgeons?”.  Me: “Right ? Chickens and Sturgeons literally gives birth to an edible product, every single day and nobody has to die for it! Right?!?!? " to which she said "You probably should also have a bottle of water.  Caviar is salty."

So like what other animals do that, produce ready made meals?

I mean there are lobsters and crabs, but who in their right mind would go for the lobster or crab EGGS ,when you can go all Flash Dance-Jennifer Beals and just eat the lobster straight up!

In the event of a Pandemic…., what am I saying, during THIS Pandemic (notice how I always capitalize Pandemic out of respect) you can literally survive with two chickens and a bottle of water. Now, if you had two chickens a bottle of water and a Sturgeon!  OMG, the party is on!  Scrambled eggs and caviar!  Dang!  Can you say Sustainable Easter Brunch, like every day!  AND the dystopian lemon tree!  Don’t get me started.

Remember that movie, The Jerk, with Steve Martin and the amazing Bernadette Peters ?   

Steve Martin’s character believes he was born a poor black child in Mississippi. He is distressed to find out that he is actually white, and in an effort to “find himself”, he heads north to St. Louis. Martin’s character (Navin) discovers his name printed in the new phone book.  Anyway remember the scene where he is leaving his wife and home and he starts picking key necessities up? "I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need."  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2X3vVMdh-s

 I know how he feels…. “I just need this chicken and this chicken and this bottle of water and this lemon tree….and this sturgeon…and this copy of Flash Dance“.

Go whip up some scrambled eggs and caviar, and sit down with a good stream of The Jerk, or Blazing Saddles….or Flash DanceJ.

 Mountain Pig out.